Ivana Atmojo

Have you ever felt intimidated?

I’m sure the answer is YES (unless you are something so unyielding—like a cactus in the desert or a highly annoying SNOB for that matter, hahaha :D). Every day in our life, we are likely to encounter people whom we regard intimidating (whether that intimidation is intended by the other party or it stems from our own feeling of inadequacy). Sometimes there seems to be no apparent reasons why we are intimidated by some people, and not by the other—and I’ve come to notice that different people are intimidated by different kinds of people too. However, if we take a deeper look at this issue, the feeling of being intimidated really boils down to a feeling of inadequacy or insecurity.

As human beans, it’s only natural, if not expected, that one feel inadequate with oneself. Let’s admit it, we do have insecurities. Who doesn’t? Everyone has insecurities, even the most seemingly confident person in the world! Why? Because there will always be someone prettier, richer, smarter, more successful, or even someone with less pimples! The key to getting around it is to know how to manage and cope with it. Disguising insecurities really do little to help at best, and will even drag you down at worst. 

As a human being, naturally I have insecurities—of how I’m so terrible at agility (hence sports that requires agility), of how I feel incredibly hopeless at science & mathematics, of how I cannot help laughing out so loudly unlike the other feminine girls, of how I’m not smart enough or look good enough, and so forth. Trust me, the list could really go on. And as you would expect, there are times where I too, feel intimidated.  

So how should we deal with the feeling of being intimidated?  

First and foremost, it’s important that we accept and embrace the feeling. Instead of denying that we are feeling insufficient because we’re feeling inferior, we can just choose to be honest to ourselves. Instead of saying : “Nope, I’m not intimidated by her at all. She may be more beautiful and successful, but I am way cleverer than her. Oh and by the way, she has fat ankles!”. You can just admit the fact that she’s so beautiful and successful, and be happy for her. Saying something bad about someone doesn’t make us a better person. And I’ve always seen honesty as a very attractive trait. It’s OKAY to admit that you’re feeling intimidated or insecure, in fact..I think it’s kinda CUTE! Why? Because it shows your humble sides J 

Second, YOU are who YOU ARE because YOU are who YOU ARE. Your stance in comparison with the other people does not define who YOU really ARE.  Picture yourself as a dot, and other people as other dots positioned scattered in a certain space. Rather than seeing it in a 2-dimensional method (hence comparing whose points are lower and higher), see it in a 3-D manner. Each and every dot is singular and special as it is; no other dots sit on the precise place another dot is sitting; nothing is really absolute, and everything is relative. In other words, what define our value as an individual eventually is the difference we have made to the people around us, to our surroundings, our society, and the world. That brings us to the concept of being FIT FOR THE PURPOSE. You don’t have to be the BEST or ON TOP OF THE WORLD to be able to do what you want to do, or achieve what you want to achieve. You don’t have to be PERFECT to lead a happy life wherever and whoever you are, you don’t have to be FLAWLESS to be loved or to love, and you don’t have to be FAULTLESS to be who you really are—because that’s what makes you special :D. Make it work (your weaknesses & strengths)!! And don’t be afraid to be imperfect! 

Third, don’t take ourselves too seriously. If we can laugh at the stupid things we did, or at our weaknesses, life will be so much easier and happier. Only when we are honest to ourselves and only when we fully accept ourselves as we are, will we be able to learn to be better and grow wiser by day. Only when we are TRUE to ourselves, will we be able to improve ourselves. Afterall, there’s always room for improvement, innit?!